If you find yourself feeling down around the holiday season, you are not alone. Reach out today. Counseling can help
For many people, the holiday season, whether Christmas, Hanukkah, or other winter celebrations, is portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and togetherness. Images of happy families, meaningful traditions, and celebration are everywhere. Yet for a significant number of adults, this time of year brings something very different: sadness, stress, loneliness, or a sense of emotional heaviness often referred to as the holiday blues. If you find yourself feeling low around the holidays, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
Why the Holidays Can Be Emotionally Difficult
The holiday season tends to amplify what’s already present in our lives. For some, that means connection and gratitude. For others, it highlights loss, unmet expectations, or ongoing stress. Common contributors to holiday blues include:
- Grief and loss — remembering loved ones who are no longer here
- Family dynamics — unresolved conflict, strained relationships, or difficult gatherings
- Loneliness — especially for those living alone or far from family
- High expectations — pressure to feel happy, grateful, or “festive”
- Burnout and fatigue — the year’s accumulated stress catching up
- Financial strain — increased spending and financial pressure
- Gift Giving — pressure to find gifts that do not disaapoint
- Disruption of routines — changes in sleep, diet, and structure
When these factors collide with cultural messages that we should feel joyful during Christmas, Hanukkah, or other holidays, people often experience shame or self-criticism for feeling otherwise.
The Difference Between Holiday Blues and Depression
The holiday blues typically involve temporary mood changes (e.g., feeling more irritable, tired, or down than usual) that improve once the season passes. Clinical depression, by contrast, is more persistent and may include loss of interest, hopelessness, changes in sleep or appetite, and difficulty functioning day to day. The holidays can worsen existing anxiety or depression or bring long-standing struggles into sharper focus. If low mood feels intense, overwhelming, or prolonged, it’s important to take it seriously. Gentle Ways to Care for Yourself During the Holidays
There’s no single “right” way to feel during Christmas, Hanukkah, or any holiday. Giving yourself permission to experience the season in a way that fits you is often the most important step. Some helpful strategies include:
Lower the bar.
You don’t need to meet anyone else’s version of the perfect holiday. It’s okay to simplify plans, say no, or do things differently.
Maintain small routines.
Consistent sleep, movement, and meals can provide stability when everything else feels chaotic.
Set boundaries.
Limiting time with difficult people, stepping away from triggering conversations, or leaving events early is not selfish—it’s healthy.
Acknowledge grief and mixed emotions.
Joy and sadness can coexist. Allowing space for both can be surprisingly relieving.
Stay connected in ways that feel manageable.
A brief check-in with a trusted friend or a short walk with someone you trust can be enough.
Practice self-compassion.
If you’re struggling, remind yourself that many others are too—even if it doesn’t look that way.
When Support Can Make a Difference For some, the holiday blues are a temporary dip. For others, they signal deeper exhaustion, unresolved grief, or patterns that deserve attention. Therapy can provide a space to slow down, reflect, and develop tools to navigate emotional challenges, during the holidays and beyond. Working with a psychologist can be especially helpful if you notice:
- Ongoing anxiety or sadness
- Burnout or emotional numbness
- Relationship stress that intensifies during the holidays
- Difficulty enjoying anything at all
- A sense of going through the motions rather than feeling present
A Final Thought
If Christmas or Hanukkah feels hard this year, you’re not failing the season. You’re responding as a human being with a complex inner life. The holidays don’t require constant happiness. If you’d like support navigating the holiday season or the challenges that surface during it, reaching out can be a meaningful first step.